Things Not To Eat On Dates And Being The ‘Bum’ Of The Group

I have an addiction to kettle fried chips, its unhealthy and quite unappealing to listen to but still its amazing . Lays makes the best ones yet .
I must admit I am an Extraordinarily loud chewer. I can’t even hear the TV sometimes. (See, Just because I put the volume louder does not mean that I have terrible hearing , there are plenty of other actual embarrassing issues)
I know what you’re thinking, Woman, just close your damn mouth when you chew that should solve the problem. Yeah. No it doesn’t . Not at all. My mouth is always closed when I eat food. That’s the thing about eating with your mouth open, it repels people rather than attracts them. You could probably attract a seagull if you open your mouth wide enough ( if you’re into that sorta thing). This results in me never being brave enough to eat kettle friend chips in front of strangers… yeah that was my main problem this week. Aside from writing exams and having realised that I’m the ‘Bum” of my group in life.
Back to being the “Bum” of the group . It sucks to be honest, it’s not like we wake up on January first and think Gee last year was too productive let me do nothing with this one… No. It doesn’t work that way.
The beginning of this year I had plans . I was gonna go to university, serve my three years, finish honours abroad if I have to and travel . I applied to my top universities and my life plan was all in order. Then I got lupus . Within the span of a month, I couldn’t walk or go anywhere . Then my school results came back. And that’s when I really got the shock of my life.
They say things happen for a reason. I didn’t do well or go to university so I could deal with the disease this year. Or maybe secretly I wasn’t emotionally ready yet and i was suppressing this feelings and sabotaging myself. Either way. That’s how I became a Bum. And either way this sucks.
Signs to tell if you’re the bum of the group

  • You’re constantly cancelling plans last-minute cut you don’t feel like going out
  • You’re not doing anything productive thing this year like going to university or getting a job or helping around the house
  • you’re caught up on all your series
  • you’ve started 5 new series recently
  • your friends tell you you’re a bum
  • the most interesting thing in your life right now is the newest show on Netflix
  • you get yelled at constantly to put on pants when people come over (pshh totally not me)
  • When people ask about your future your answer is somewhere along the lines of “uhh yeah I’m gonna do something nice, yeah its gonna be great”
  • Your friends have conversations about their futures that you cannot relate to at all like “Im going to take a week-long sleep because university is killing me” or “My friends at campus have been keeping me so busy in their study groups” . Yo I would like to bond over something too …. even if it is the weather …
  • Yeah you spend your days trying to control ordinary things like how well your bread is toasted or how neatly you can make your bed
  • You’ve recently taken up a new skill that you know you’re not very good at but it makes you feel better that you’re trying something (for me that has been yoga). And you get a sense of accomplishment from this skill because it’s easier to admit that your just killing time

All of these are signs. You can one of them or all of them. Either way, in my opinion it sucks. Another example of Why I’m the group bum is I’m the only one who hasn’t learnt how to drive yet. Yes secretly I’m scared of running over a deer and having to explain that to Bambi’s mom’s ghost but other than that I’ve just had no motivation.
You know how most kids want a car for their 18th birthday ?
Yeah I wanted a cake. A 3 layered cake. With sprinkles might I add. I was feeling real fancy.
I will get back to you on Getting out of the bum phase when i actually get out of this phase. So yes i have a problem, but i do plan to find a solution soon. This isn’t just meaningless complaining . Trust me .
Back to some other less serious discussions

YUMMY FOODS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT EAT ON DATES !!
Yes this needs to be on here.
I decided to make this list while chowing down a rather well stuffed falafel in the middle of the mall the other day. I must say it wasn’t very attractive at all.

  •  Tacos (you know why)
  • falafel ( if you have a mouth bug enough to fit an entire falafel with stuff and sauce kudos to you ) all I can say is damn that sauce get everywhere . Carry a spare shirt or a bib.
  • Bananas (you also know why) personally I would totally eat one to bug people out.
  • Nachos and salsa . If the salsa is hot it somehow ends up in your eyes and on oyur favourite shirt and then you’re crying for two entirely different issues . Just stick to guacamole my friend.
  • Indian bunny chow. Yeah messy as HELL. Wonderful to lick your fingers afterwards but be aware it sometimes stains fingernails yellow
  • Ribs( I’m a vegetarian so I wouldn’t know how these taste) I would know how it looks to eat though. That sauce goes everywhere!! There isn’t a neat way to eat such.
  • Kettle fried chips (if you’re a noisy chewer)
  • Deep fried crickets (again I have never tried this, nor will I ever try this on purpose)

That’s pretty much what I have so far : please feel free to suggest some more!

All these foods are pretty much the best though so just make sure your date isn’t one of those people who carry a personal hand sanitizer around before you take them tot a falafel restaurant . And if you happen to eat without messing. You’re not doing it right man.
Song of the week : Nevermind – Dennis Lloyd . It’s such a chilled song with some serious lazy day vibes. Perhaps for lovely day trip with friends to the beach.
Lesson learnt today : I’m really rusty at math. Also I really like saying the sentence ‘ I told you so’
Anyways This weeks post was a bit more serious than usual unfortunately. Next time I’ll find something interesting to yap about.Thats a promise.
Movie of the week : Gifted – This is a serious recommendation . That was one the most heartwarming genuine movies I’ve watched in a while. Its a wonderful movie for a Sunday afternoon .
Have a lovely weekend
(A Slightly Lazy Human )
(Is Actually A Liar Who Is VERY Lazy)

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