Soap As a Birthday Gift and My “Stalker Vibes”

Have you ever had those friends that you saw at least once a week, that you discussed what kind of coffee you were fond of and who your latest women crush was or even what type of olive you preferred in your salad but they weren’t really your “close friends”. You would greet each other every morning and check up when they weren’t at work or at school to make sure they weren’t dying or offer a tissue when they cried and gave them a hug.
I had those . The people I used to spend tons of time with but never really meant much, to either of us.
Every year since I’ve known them we have exchanged presents and birthday cards. Our birthdays consisted to something of 100 word essays. With topics ranging from our tastes in music to lame jokes and the use of words like ‘kind’,”great’, and ‘nice’. Forgive me for being this judgmental and honest but if you’re going to give someone you’re close to a birthday card it should be meaningful and or goofy. something they can remember forever . Its like subconsciously we were trying to convince the other person that we were close to them because we knew all these facts on a whim about their personal lives. Fact remains that we were trying to hard.
Its only after one has best, close and utterly weird and unpredictable friends that one knows the difference between the types of birthday cards. It’s a small difference but it feels like a rather large one when you break it down .
When they write stuff about a special moment when you were together and remember a witty wrote you said to them years ago or quote a play that you both went to watch together that you both love. It can be a couple of sentences long, there can be a drawing in place of half a page and it still could mean more that 100 essay birthday cards. Know what I mean ?
True friends don’t just offer you a tissue when you cry, They bust out the serial killer kit, a box of junk food and some pure comedy shows and or they hand you a baseball bat and direct you towards a rather large rock . Either way, they know what you need, whether it be a good cry, to punch someone in the face ( god I hope not , ice your knuckles after please ) or even a marathon length run at mid day in the middle of summer.
If they were absent from school or work you would try to go over to check up on them, you wouldn’t worry about what to say next to impress them or brag to show off something they might like. Why not ? Cus True friends don’t give a rats right testicle whether you have the latest album from imagine dragons, or you’re getting a new phone for your birthday, but god forbid you bake a caramel covered triple layered chocolate cake without them and they will hold it over your head forever. It’s the silly little things that make a difference.

Onto upbeat things. Did you know that the expression and reflex of saying the words “ bless you” after someone sneezes came about after the plague ? Yeah me neither . Cus back then When you sneezed they prayed that you weren’t sick from the plague and that you wouldn’t die … those were some chilling times. LOL you wouldn’t know if other people’s ‘bless you’ s were sarcastic or not. Doubt anyone would stop to ask. A lot must have been left up to mystery in those days.

Its seems my sass level has reached new lows. This week is my stalker week that’s probably why, my witty energy has been all used up. Its my brother’s birthday and as the darling sister i have to get him the perfect gift because what he and the late Joan Rivers have in common is that they are judgemental, Yes over clothes too but his complaints have been with my gifts in the past. Granted I did say they gift of presence should have been enough to appease him but he does get that gift everyday. This year I decided to change it up and get fancy. I have invested in a mug. Yes . A mug.
Don’t give me that look, a mug is a wonderful present. That’s been my thing this year, giving people mugs for their birthday. By best friend got three for her birthday. Sometimes wonder how I kept my friends. Its sure isn’t my birthday gifts. I believe I gave a girl I knew a scarf for three years in a row .It’s not like a receive such great gifts either, I mean my aunt and my uncle have given me a new set of deodorant and soap since i turned 10. Like Guys I know I hit puberty and that age but I know i need to use soap. What y’all Tryin to say here ?
Back to it being my stalker week, over the past two years I have created a quickly growing collection of the people in my house sleeping. whether it be on couches in beds or on airport chairs I have the evidence. I have decided to gift everyone with a birthday card made up of all their photos of them catching a good nap in incredibly funny positions. Not before you judge me just know that they started it. They have plenty of embarrassing mid snore photos of me too.
I happen to think my idea is quite ingenious . Anyone else have any good birthday gift ideas ?
Song of the day : Now or Never – Halsey . I really love her music. Her voice is just too addictive…
Lesson learnt today : Pay attention to the people around you. You never know how interesting people are unless you spend some time with them one on one. A good chat never hurts. Strike up a conversation with someone you don’t normally talk to every once in a while. Surprise yourself .

Enjoy your week Everyone
Signed Out.
(A Rather Tired Human)
(Who needs another Haircut soon)

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