Mind Your Own Biscuits and Give Me Back My Tea!….Please

The time has come once again where it’s so cold indoors that there is no need to worry about forgetting to put the cheese back in the fridge because the outside is a flippin freezer . Or that you’re on your third cup of cocoa and it’s only 3 in the afternoon . Down here in South Africa when it’s cocoa time means it’s cuddle up in blankets time . No Christmassy shit around here . While the entire northern hemisphere is off gallivanting in shortie shorts and an assortment of Miss Matched flip-flops we down here (yes even if it’s still Africa) are freezing our rosy butt cheeks off . Granted 8 degrees isn’t close to what Canada calls cold but down here … Trust me . We sure find a need to pull out the space heaters, hot packs and somehow rationalize drinking over 6 cups of tea,milo or cocoa to get us through our day. Forget about regular bedtime, ten pm? You must be joking. Cus the sun sets early? Well then damn! So do we!
It’s like the entire normal living routine shifts .On a normal summer evening i would be fine with burning the midnight oil but in winter you can forget it my friend. Laziness and the need for that kind of warmth that suffocates you  just takes over … Mhmm . Never in my life do I have so much hot Chocolate as these three months … Ahh the fatter you are the less you feel cold . I’m just beefing up for warmth . If its good enough for bears and the walruses its good enough for me! Am I being convincing enough yet?

Yeah I’m not convincing myself either. This is why summer is hard for me. It’s a vicious cycle. as soon as we slim down for summer its time to fatten up for winter again. A damn shame I’m telling you.
Anyways while my tush is freezing under these layers of blankets I’ve succumbed to the laziness that I’ve just been talking about , I haven’t written at all . I have been reading, rewatching all the Disney movies and discovering new ways of stuffing a Panini . This is my way of coping with winter .
Anyone else got some good ideas how to pass time with a cup of tea?
You know that point in summer .. After you’ve hugged your sleeveless tops and sandals and you’re sick of shaving your legs every second day and the bugs and mosquitoes have bitten every inch of your skin. .. That moment where you suddenly miss your jackets and jerseys  and lets not forget the mismatched tracksuits(let’s be honest we all have a couple of pairs). You miss the warmth under the blanket, eating cookies by the fire and wearing tights socks and boots that make you appear inches taller than you already are(god knows I need those inches) .
Mhmm yeah? See a pattern? It’s amazing right? We only miss the good parts of every season . We don’t appreciate the weather when we have it . Kinda funny hey ! But right now if you’ll excuse me I have to go back to my hoard of blankets and superhero mugs filled with hot chocolate with little marshmallows like the grown up woman that I am.

Lesson learnt today : Wear a T-Shirt with the words “ I AM A FULLY GROWN ADULT : OVER 18” printed out cus clearly people aren’t getting the message. I was approached for the 110th time today when someone asked me in the mall whether my mom was looking for me or if I was looking for her. When I got over the fact that I was indeed hearing correctly and I asked her how old she thought I was she said fourteen … Not bad actually, the average with meeting strangers is twelve, I kid you not people still offer me kiddies menus. They say when I’m forty I’ll appreciate it. So yeah I’ll stop complaining in roughly 20 years

Song of the week : Biscuits by Kacey Musgraves. Yep Mind your own biscuits people. The perfect song for your nosey neighbors and your gossipy coworkers.  Great way to subtly give the hint is to flip it to full volume whenever they start talking. Works every time and its way more convenient  than carrying around a blender full of ice to plug-in. It’s also better than spitting in their coffee or having your dog take a dump in their yard every morning.

Quote of the week : “Spring passes and one remembers one’s innocence. Summer passes and one remembers one’s exuberance. Autumn passes and one remembers one’s reverence. Winter passes and one remembers one’s perseverance.”– Yoko Ono. Something to think about actually, if you will excuse me I’m going to persevere to my warm bed after this… I joke… okay not really.. But on a serious note it is something to think about, the seasons bring back all sorts of memories and feelings, sit back and enjoy the ones from winter for now southern hemisphere ….

Goodnight to all . Signing out.

A Fluffy Penguin With Socks 

(And a kettle boiling as we speak)

One Day (spoilers ahead please be advised): Love and Life

Last week a friend recommended a movie to me. This friend happens to be my person(I’ve been watching plenty of greys anatomy lately). She doesn’t have terrible movie taste aside for her obsession with musicals but I’m afraid she doesn’t know me it all.
She recommended the movie ‘One Day’ originally a book by David Nicholls . Hats off to this author for such a … moving story.

It’s a story about two best friends who are in love with each other who had their ups and downs in life and to be quite honest it was the most soul wrenching movie I’ve watched in a long time. I hate emotional rollercoaster movies, and I especially hate sad movies. Now when those are put together, well, I simply can’t stand them. The movie, I think, was the most relatable because it felt so goddamn real. you know life won’t always have a happy ending. In fact it never does, there will never be the perfect person or relationship and sometimes the people you love make you won’t to cut out your heart and hide it away because it hurts so much from the words they say or the things they do. Perhaps they disappoint you in every way possible or don’t appreciate you at all. Whether it be a mother , a lover, a sister or brother (see, I’m even starting to rhyme) or especially a best friend, people are not perfect, life with people in or out of it is not perfect. After this movie had come to a close there were many questions I found myself thinking about. The very first one was : Is love really worth it?
Now you can ask people who have been divorced, been heartbroken, had loved ones die, and hurt a loved one themselves that very same question. The answer is always YES. You can love the wrong person, you can love the right person, you can love multiple people. But goddamn is it worth it. Watching that love story unfold made me question my entire outlook on my future love life.
Had Emma never stayed over that night, never invited on going for a walk, never gave Dexter her number and most certainly never fell in love. She might not have died that way, she wouldn’t have wasted twenty odd years pining for a guy she didn’t have. Obviously that wouldn’t have made a very good movie but she would be alive, perhaps she wouldn’t have had so many emotional ups and downs in her life. But who wants a movies or a book like that ?
You ask why, secretly, we romanticise love being tragic, being heart breaking and soul sucking …. The answer is simply that that’s because it’s what we secretly want from out life. Heart break, tears and simply put an indescribable feeling called love. We yearn for it, crave it and worship it. Life cannot be as bleak as the cement ground of the side-walk or the khaki trousers of a middle school uniform. We seek colour and vibrancy, we search for adventure. Love is not an easy thing, the heart is fickle and decisive all at the same time and the mind ? Well thats simply makes life harder.
The choices in the movie are quite hard to watch, hard to imagine and bloody hell they look hard to make. There is a longer essay somewhere on how this book made a person feel or how the movie impacted someones life but for now here’s my relatively unorganised thoughts on the matter.
I would not read this book in my lifetime because I’m afraid my heart could not handle it. Strong love like this brings a person to tears. If the movie can make me question my life just imagine the impact of the book.

Another question that comes to mind is will I ever love someone that much ? That intensely ? Or for so long?
Call me cynical but love does not last in this world. True love is not a common occurrence. People can be married, love each other but at most times not like each other at all. People can be divorced and hate each other or divorced and still love each other. People can fall in love from one glance and spend the rest of their lives together or spend decades with someone only to realise that you don’t love them anymore or worst of all that you didn’t love them at all.
Love comes in many shapes and sizes, in literature, in film and most certainly it’s only experienced by us personally. We can show it feel it share it but we are the only one that know how strongly we feel about someone else. We don’t know how love feels to them and most certainly never will know. We rely on them to tell us. Sometimes that takes time and most certainly sometimes that time is too long. God I certainly hope I have the courage to tell someone when I love them. I do also hope that they say it back, say it back and mean it because I will never truly know until they do. It’s not the main point to have someone love you back. Its more the point of having the courage to say how the most feeling emotional and hardest to convince part of you to someone else. It’s the risk of offering your heart to another person and trusting them tot take the utmost care of it. This doesn’t necessarily apply to boyfriends, girlfriends or husbands or wives. Sometimes an ‘I Love You‘ is all a friend needs to hear, or a mother or a father or a stranger on the street (pick your strangers and words wisely I beg of you) . But love is a powerful emotion and certainly the emotion I fear the most .

The loss and suffering of loved ones is the continuous focus of the movie and quite frankly it’s so damn moving because its true. To be quite honest I’m not sure whether I want to love someone enough not to be able to live without them. To not be able to imagine my life without waking up to them every single day. To wonder whether them dying or them leaving me is better or worse. I know it’s a fantasy to believe love last forever, for the lucky ones it does. But for these of us it’s not so simple, love takes hard effort and time, most certainly it takes guts but most importantly it needs a heart. They good this is we all definitely have one, the not so good thing is not all of us want to share it, or we share it too willingly .

I see why people write books on it and sing songs about it, cry over it and gain inspiration from it. Love bring out something that is indescribable and we will forever live trying to describe it, draw it, feel it and see it. Not a bad way to live life at all. Speaking of songs written about love. I put on the radio while we were in the car today and one of my all time favourite songs called ‘Fast Car” by Tracey Chapman came on. This is ultimately a song with a beautiful beat but with feeling as well. It’s a song about love. A Sad song, but a love song never the less. Bringing back nostalgia and young love , falling out it and missing it into one wonderful set of lyrics and voice which cannot be replaced or covered in the same light. Some may not share my views on this song and that okay. But I love it for my own reasons, and that’s what makes it important to me.

I have many more question that I need to ask myself, and plenty more conclusions from this movie. But the one I feel most strongly about so far is one day I hope I can love someone that much, I hope even more than that they love me just as much, even more than that, I hope that we can be together for as long as possible.
Unfortunately as a teenager I find myself pushed too soon into this adult world, the environment that I live in encourages dating many people before settle down, having random sex with strangers and celebrating it too. I happen, regrettably, (for my need to cuddle with something other than my blanket) to believe in true love, I find it hard to believe that I will love one person for the rest of my life but god do I wish for it. All the ups and downs and heart-breaks and crying and laughter. I want it all. I just hope it finds me.
This movie will take you apart and before you notice it , put you aback together. You won’t be the same, but you will certainly be better off than you were before .

I don’t like these kind of movies, but they make me see the world differently, I really won’t be able to forget this wonderful story and I regret watching it only because of the way it made me feel but I would whole heartedly recommend it to anyone and everyone else.
My best friend recommended this movie and told me I would like it, she was wrong I hated it but my god I also loved it. She may know me the best of all. I wouldn’t be able to imagine life without her. I most certainly am not going to even try.
Movie of the week : (take a wild guess)
Song of the week : Northern lights – Jaymes Young . A song for the dreamers and most certainly an artist to follow. Do enjoy !
My favourite quote from the book” One day “ :“What are you going to do with your life?” In one way or another it seemed that people had been asking her this forever; teachers, her parents, friends at three in the morning, but the question had never seemed this pressing and still she was no nearer an answer… “Live each day as if it’s your last’, that was the conventional advice, but really, who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance.”
― David Nicholls, One Day
I know it’s a rather long one but it really is a beautiful quote, it’s also quite fitting when describing the movie. Heres to you falling in love with it like I did.

P.S I bought a rainbow unicorn onesie today, I think I may have found my soulmate!

Goodnight to all.
(A Human With Really Puffy Eyes)
(And A Heart And Soul)

Soap As a Birthday Gift and My “Stalker Vibes”

Have you ever had those friends that you saw at least once a week, that you discussed what kind of coffee you were fond of and who your latest women crush was or even what type of olive you preferred in your salad but they weren’t really your “close friends”. You would greet each other every morning and check up when they weren’t at work or at school to make sure they weren’t dying or offer a tissue when they cried and gave them a hug.
I had those . The people I used to spend tons of time with but never really meant much, to either of us.
Every year since I’ve known them we have exchanged presents and birthday cards. Our birthdays consisted to something of 100 word essays. With topics ranging from our tastes in music to lame jokes and the use of words like ‘kind’,”great’, and ‘nice’. Forgive me for being this judgmental and honest but if you’re going to give someone you’re close to a birthday card it should be meaningful and or goofy. something they can remember forever . Its like subconsciously we were trying to convince the other person that we were close to them because we knew all these facts on a whim about their personal lives. Fact remains that we were trying to hard.
Its only after one has best, close and utterly weird and unpredictable friends that one knows the difference between the types of birthday cards. It’s a small difference but it feels like a rather large one when you break it down .
When they write stuff about a special moment when you were together and remember a witty wrote you said to them years ago or quote a play that you both went to watch together that you both love. It can be a couple of sentences long, there can be a drawing in place of half a page and it still could mean more that 100 essay birthday cards. Know what I mean ?
True friends don’t just offer you a tissue when you cry, They bust out the serial killer kit, a box of junk food and some pure comedy shows and or they hand you a baseball bat and direct you towards a rather large rock . Either way, they know what you need, whether it be a good cry, to punch someone in the face ( god I hope not , ice your knuckles after please ) or even a marathon length run at mid day in the middle of summer.
If they were absent from school or work you would try to go over to check up on them, you wouldn’t worry about what to say next to impress them or brag to show off something they might like. Why not ? Cus True friends don’t give a rats right testicle whether you have the latest album from imagine dragons, or you’re getting a new phone for your birthday, but god forbid you bake a caramel covered triple layered chocolate cake without them and they will hold it over your head forever. It’s the silly little things that make a difference.

Onto upbeat things. Did you know that the expression and reflex of saying the words “ bless you” after someone sneezes came about after the plague ? Yeah me neither . Cus back then When you sneezed they prayed that you weren’t sick from the plague and that you wouldn’t die … those were some chilling times. LOL you wouldn’t know if other people’s ‘bless you’ s were sarcastic or not. Doubt anyone would stop to ask. A lot must have been left up to mystery in those days.

Its seems my sass level has reached new lows. This week is my stalker week that’s probably why, my witty energy has been all used up. Its my brother’s birthday and as the darling sister i have to get him the perfect gift because what he and the late Joan Rivers have in common is that they are judgemental, Yes over clothes too but his complaints have been with my gifts in the past. Granted I did say they gift of presence should have been enough to appease him but he does get that gift everyday. This year I decided to change it up and get fancy. I have invested in a mug. Yes . A mug.
Don’t give me that look, a mug is a wonderful present. That’s been my thing this year, giving people mugs for their birthday. By best friend got three for her birthday. Sometimes wonder how I kept my friends. Its sure isn’t my birthday gifts. I believe I gave a girl I knew a scarf for three years in a row .It’s not like a receive such great gifts either, I mean my aunt and my uncle have given me a new set of deodorant and soap since i turned 10. Like Guys I know I hit puberty and that age but I know i need to use soap. What y’all Tryin to say here ?
Back to it being my stalker week, over the past two years I have created a quickly growing collection of the people in my house sleeping. whether it be on couches in beds or on airport chairs I have the evidence. I have decided to gift everyone with a birthday card made up of all their photos of them catching a good nap in incredibly funny positions. Not before you judge me just know that they started it. They have plenty of embarrassing mid snore photos of me too.
I happen to think my idea is quite ingenious . Anyone else have any good birthday gift ideas ?
Song of the day : Now or Never – Halsey . I really love her music. Her voice is just too addictive…
Lesson learnt today : Pay attention to the people around you. You never know how interesting people are unless you spend some time with them one on one. A good chat never hurts. Strike up a conversation with someone you don’t normally talk to every once in a while. Surprise yourself .

Enjoy your week Everyone
Signed Out.
(A Rather Tired Human)
(Who needs another Haircut soon)

Things Not To Eat On Dates And Being The ‘Bum’ Of The Group

I have an addiction to kettle fried chips, its unhealthy and quite unappealing to listen to but still its amazing . Lays makes the best ones yet .
I must admit I am an Extraordinarily loud chewer. I can’t even hear the TV sometimes. (See, Just because I put the volume louder does not mean that I have terrible hearing , there are plenty of other actual embarrassing issues)
I know what you’re thinking, Woman, just close your damn mouth when you chew that should solve the problem. Yeah. No it doesn’t . Not at all. My mouth is always closed when I eat food. That’s the thing about eating with your mouth open, it repels people rather than attracts them. You could probably attract a seagull if you open your mouth wide enough ( if you’re into that sorta thing). This results in me never being brave enough to eat kettle friend chips in front of strangers… yeah that was my main problem this week. Aside from writing exams and having realised that I’m the ‘Bum” of my group in life.
Back to being the “Bum” of the group . It sucks to be honest, it’s not like we wake up on January first and think Gee last year was too productive let me do nothing with this one… No. It doesn’t work that way.
The beginning of this year I had plans . I was gonna go to university, serve my three years, finish honours abroad if I have to and travel . I applied to my top universities and my life plan was all in order. Then I got lupus . Within the span of a month, I couldn’t walk or go anywhere . Then my school results came back. And that’s when I really got the shock of my life.
They say things happen for a reason. I didn’t do well or go to university so I could deal with the disease this year. Or maybe secretly I wasn’t emotionally ready yet and i was suppressing this feelings and sabotaging myself. Either way. That’s how I became a Bum. And either way this sucks.
Signs to tell if you’re the bum of the group

  • You’re constantly cancelling plans last-minute cut you don’t feel like going out
  • You’re not doing anything productive thing this year like going to university or getting a job or helping around the house
  • you’re caught up on all your series
  • you’ve started 5 new series recently
  • your friends tell you you’re a bum
  • the most interesting thing in your life right now is the newest show on Netflix
  • you get yelled at constantly to put on pants when people come over (pshh totally not me)
  • When people ask about your future your answer is somewhere along the lines of “uhh yeah I’m gonna do something nice, yeah its gonna be great”
  • Your friends have conversations about their futures that you cannot relate to at all like “Im going to take a week-long sleep because university is killing me” or “My friends at campus have been keeping me so busy in their study groups” . Yo I would like to bond over something too …. even if it is the weather …
  • Yeah you spend your days trying to control ordinary things like how well your bread is toasted or how neatly you can make your bed
  • You’ve recently taken up a new skill that you know you’re not very good at but it makes you feel better that you’re trying something (for me that has been yoga). And you get a sense of accomplishment from this skill because it’s easier to admit that your just killing time

All of these are signs. You can one of them or all of them. Either way, in my opinion it sucks. Another example of Why I’m the group bum is I’m the only one who hasn’t learnt how to drive yet. Yes secretly I’m scared of running over a deer and having to explain that to Bambi’s mom’s ghost but other than that I’ve just had no motivation.
You know how most kids want a car for their 18th birthday ?
Yeah I wanted a cake. A 3 layered cake. With sprinkles might I add. I was feeling real fancy.
I will get back to you on Getting out of the bum phase when i actually get out of this phase. So yes i have a problem, but i do plan to find a solution soon. This isn’t just meaningless complaining . Trust me .
Back to some other less serious discussions

YUMMY FOODS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY NOT EAT ON DATES !!
Yes this needs to be on here.
I decided to make this list while chowing down a rather well stuffed falafel in the middle of the mall the other day. I must say it wasn’t very attractive at all.

  •  Tacos (you know why)
  • falafel ( if you have a mouth bug enough to fit an entire falafel with stuff and sauce kudos to you ) all I can say is damn that sauce get everywhere . Carry a spare shirt or a bib.
  • Bananas (you also know why) personally I would totally eat one to bug people out.
  • Nachos and salsa . If the salsa is hot it somehow ends up in your eyes and on oyur favourite shirt and then you’re crying for two entirely different issues . Just stick to guacamole my friend.
  • Indian bunny chow. Yeah messy as HELL. Wonderful to lick your fingers afterwards but be aware it sometimes stains fingernails yellow
  • Ribs( I’m a vegetarian so I wouldn’t know how these taste) I would know how it looks to eat though. That sauce goes everywhere!! There isn’t a neat way to eat such.
  • Kettle fried chips (if you’re a noisy chewer)
  • Deep fried crickets (again I have never tried this, nor will I ever try this on purpose)

That’s pretty much what I have so far : please feel free to suggest some more!

All these foods are pretty much the best though so just make sure your date isn’t one of those people who carry a personal hand sanitizer around before you take them tot a falafel restaurant . And if you happen to eat without messing. You’re not doing it right man.
Song of the week : Nevermind – Dennis Lloyd . It’s such a chilled song with some serious lazy day vibes. Perhaps for lovely day trip with friends to the beach.
Lesson learnt today : I’m really rusty at math. Also I really like saying the sentence ‘ I told you so’
Anyways This weeks post was a bit more serious than usual unfortunately. Next time I’ll find something interesting to yap about.Thats a promise.
Movie of the week : Gifted – This is a serious recommendation . That was one the most heartwarming genuine movies I’ve watched in a while. Its a wonderful movie for a Sunday afternoon .
Have a lovely weekend
(A Slightly Lazy Human )
(Is Actually A Liar Who Is VERY Lazy)