The Procrastination dilemma Aka : THIS POST & Starbucks Brownies

Eating stale rusks is a bad idea . No, like seriously bad. It may very well put you off rusks for life (If you’re not a pushover when it come to food. Like me)

Going through my iTunes song list and clearing all the songs I don’t listen to anymore has become a personal goal lately. As has been this blog, and cleaning my room, re organising the study and many many other delicate things that have missed my attention these past couple of days. Ahhh smell that ? That’s the stench of exam time and uncontrollable emotion. Top it off with an unstable narcissist and you’ve got a winner ! I mean I’m not talking about me … I’m too contained and controlled for that.
HAH! As if
Things to do this week (in order of likelihood  of occurring ) :

  1. Do laundry
  2. make gourmet breakfast
  3. Organise iTunes library
  4. Make this post
  5. Make another post
  6. Colour code my wardrobe
  7. Find my Birth Certificate
  8. Make gourmet supper
  9. Say I’m going to study in a very serious tone while looking in my phone camera.. (the mirror is way too far )
  10. WATCH TROPHY WIFE( Cant believe they cancelled that show)
  11. Actually study …..
  12. Make a new list

Its night-time right now, make a gourmet supper before breakfast dummy, DUH!
Yeah so we understand the problem. It’s a condition which affects over 100% of people .Including me. Its called Toothpicks people!!! Who picks up the little cheeses they put out to taste in the mall with their little saliva dripping hands ? EWWWW !
Also, all of us suffer from procrastination. Yep a long word . Even it procrastinates to get to the end . Ever notice when people say that word they drag on the first word and fire out the ‘Nation’ part . Just me ? OHHhhh Well….. It’s the perfect way to describe all projects, assignments and study routines. Start of real slow with the mindset of : If I just start this earlier than usual and do a little every day ill be fine ?
Oh yeah .. as if .. suck my toe (okay not really that’s gross) but seriously . Two days till the due date from the due date, guess what ? Yeah you find yourself 3 seasons of scorpion in and 5% finished with your assignment . Yep, the 5% is from that day you first started. Remember you went to fetch that delicious cup of strawberry fro-yo? Well that turned into 2 seasons of Bones and a quick stop at Starbucks for a brownie . You know you’re pretty good at avoiding your problems if you got to Starbucks and come back home with a brownie. Like Dude, seriously. Get. Your. Life. Together .
Anyone relate ?
Song of the day : Rebel – Lady Bee ft Jalise Romy. Pretty apt right? i felt the wrong kinds of a vibes from this song. The lyrics may have said ‘ Bad boy whisk me into your world of class bunking, tattoos and smoking weed on a school night’, and the music video was all like ‘ girl that may or may not be my best friend or lover show me how to shoplift and take joyrides’ but all I got totally different vibes . They go something like ‘ You don’t need to study, you’re so smart and amazing, continue watching The Simpsons and you can bask in your shame later ….’
Lesson learnt today : Yeah . Don’t smoke weed during weekdays, also , don’t eat stale rusks .

P.S I have nothing against Starbucks brownies. All brownies matter, in all coffee shops.

Goodnight to all
A very problematic human
(with tea and cookies (I got rid of the rusks ))


Dancing on Bar tops, A love of music and still keeping things PG

It’s another day in the (insert my surname here) . Where failed tablet swallowing leads to me getting thrown up on(Don’t ask) and I find out, late as per usual, that Walter and Paige have another fight (incase you’re wondering YES I am still talking about Scorpion) P.S I can feel your judgement from here and I’m NOT liking it..

I must admit my crush on Machine gun kelly has revealed itself as he raps in a girly cowboy bar with a bunch of girls who dance on bar Countertops. Yes, the Little Mix video, Those girls are hella attractive too.
Another revelation I had today was the fact that I don’t want to stay here. As in for once in my life my brain decided to make a decision, now, out of all times that it wants to get a scholarship and leave this country. A bit late if you ask me. Maybe if I cared last year i could have made decent grades but unfortunately my minds a stubborn shit who didn’t wanna do anything it wasn’t passionate about. I tried. Don’t get me wrong. I just had too many brainfarts during the exams, and my classes, and at home…Gee would you look at that …Maybe it is me .
Don’t get me wrong. I love my country, that’s not why I want to move really… I love the vibrance, the people and the culture and the way when we walk down the street people casually sing Voetsak(its like a rude way of saying “go away!” but used way too commonly in South Africa) Zuma and toi toi any and every day of the week. No Judgement there. Our president really is a twit.
But I feel like if i don’t make a move now I never will. It’s as if I know I will become complacent and start dreaming smaller and smaller till I’m the very thing I swore I’de Never become, ordinary. Someone who didn’t make a change in the world, or leave her mark, someone who didn’t do anything legendary cut she never had the balls to go out adventuring.
it’s not like I need to whack a Police officer with a protest sign or chain myself to a tree for a week . I doesn’t really matter how I make a difference or where or even if anyone knows about it, I just want to leave a mark of happiness somewhere . As cheesy as it sounds I happen to think that’s the closest thing humanity has to immortality …other than the obvious become rich a dictator (emphasis on the DICk part)
Might I just add that two weeks ago I braved the sun(An enemy of a victim of Lupus) and attended my first protest. I was very proud. Walked almost 8 Km. More on that another time .
I wanted that whole experience of finding my true self and growing up … you know like in all the movies where against all odds the teenager moves out to college and has their own life. Learns to deal with things on their own, matures ,finds their purpose and BAM the end they know what they want in life and that’s where it does from there. But alas, Life is not a movie, Life is a bouquet of roses in a Hurricane.
Sometimes prickly, sometimes sweet, never in the same place and very chaotic.I came up with that one all on my own. I’m feeling as pleased as punch with myself right now …
Allow me to bask in my glory briefly …
Ok all done .
Back to where we were:
You know initially I wanted to keep this PG but then  I figured .. seriously who does anymore ?
Kids these days say shit that my parents would wash my mouth out with soap and baptise me to be sure back in the day. The times are changing and its no longer about what words we use, it’s about what we are trying to say. Ever seen many PG posters at protests recently? dDon’t think so .
Coming back to my dancing on bar tops comments. Remind me to put that on my bucket list. Not that I need to be drunk to do it . I just would like to have that experience. If i had to logically question everything on my bucket list it would take wayyyyyy more lines than this. Not to mention some of the things on the list arent remotely logically explainable.
A simple answer to why in this case is like every to be teen I had a list of movies i had to watch before venturing into my teens and future adulthood. Amongst this list lies movies like Cliques, Aquamarine, The Breakfast Club, Clueless and of course, the infamous Coyote Ugly . If you haven’t watched it yet go check it out now. It’s a wonderful story in my opinion where the main character (you guessed it ) Dances on bar tops occasionally. A much deeper storyline than that of course but that’s what made me decide to add that onto the bucket list. While I’m here lets just also mention the reason for my bucket list…. Yep. It’s the movie The Bucketlist . About two aged men who go through their last days completing their bucket lists together before they die. A wonderful movie really. With a another much deeper storyline I won’t dive into right now either .

Shout out to my favourite band right now, The Bleachers . Their previous album was amazing and I’m expecting their new one to be just as impressive as that one.
Boy I really hope its good .
I find it funny how much faith and hope we put in our favourite bands and singers . We rely on them to make us feel certain emotions, bring some nostalgia into our lives and attach need memories to songs. It’s a wonderful job a songwriter has, as does the rest of the team that comes up with the music. They have the power of influence.
Think about your favourite memory, there’s a song that you can assign to it right ? And even if the lyrics of the song don’t make sense to anyone else you somehow mange to find an emotional attachment to those specific words in the song because of that memory. For example the song By Imagine Dragons ( another great band you should totally check out) called I Bet My Life, I happen to think of it as my relationship with god, For various reasons . But the writer of the song wrote it because of his relationship with his parents. two different people, two different meanings. Its like abstract art. We all find something different when we read between the lines. And isn’t that a beautiful thing ?
People who have a deep appreciation for music and art have my friendship already. It’s as if you don’t need to know the other people to connect.

Song of the day Stay Together – Noah Cyrus (okay yeah i know But don’t judge me. Her song is particularly catchy) I admit that i do not really relate to this song at all because I’ve never really had a S.O in my life that i needed to ‘Stay Together for a night” with. Even if Noah’s intentions in the song is just to talk. But the beat is catchy and I’m addicted to the clean version. Makes me feel less gangster #KeepingItCool
Life lesson learnt today : When you think you’re running out of pecorino romano cheese. You’re probably right and should plan ahead unless you want to wake up in the morning and find that you suddenly have none left. If you’re a lazy shit like me, you probably left the cheese wrapping in the cheese drawer, and if you’re desperate (like me once again) you’ll have the urge to go lick that wrapper.DO NOT GIVE IN TO THE URGE.

Signing out
A Very Erratic Human
(With Amazing Taste in Music)

My first entry

Entry one .
I am prone to be very dramatics.Very True.
In fact the reason I started this blog is a wonderful example of my flair for the dramatics.

I watched A Moms Night Out . Not once, not twice but five times! This week ! I admit, I am a bit young, a bit misunderstood, and a bit big for my boots, hell I aint even a mom, screw even being married. But it got me thinking… I’m not Experiencing life alone, someone out there has got to find humour in my situation even if that someone is an alien from mars or a 10-year-old gradually browsing through the internet unfortunate to stumble upon my erratic rants . I got you covered! A story for you all !

I turned 18 this year, Got diagnosed with Lupus, got declined from all my universities, Cancelled my once in a lifetime trip to Canada and I’m newly addicted to a cheese called Pecorino Romano. Never have I thought Sheep’s milk would taste so good in my life ! Also after almost a year of protesting I got my learners … which means legally I’m allowed to drive but emotionally, you can bet your ass I’m not getting onto a highway yet.

Now I can complain for days on how my life sucks right now, and I can have plenty of people commenting that starving children in africa have it worse, so I’m going to get this out-of-the-way . I Live in africa . I’m not starving. That is correct. I happen to think my life is difficult from MY perspective. That is also correct. I have no idea what I want to do with my life and that scares the living shit out of my. Very correct. I AM NOT comparing myself to those less fortunate than I . Correct. I am not being ungrateful . Correct (though I admit, I tend to seem that way sometimes, But I don’t mean it ). And finally I am only doing this because writing to myself is getting kind of tedious, like waiting for pizza to be declared our country staple diet ( we are coming pretty close)(ok. Not really).
THE MOST CORRECT FACT EVER . Aside from the other fact that I feel kind of vulnerable exposing my thought like this. But lets move on.
That was a lot of information to give out in less than an essay, You’re welcome . I’m gifted at making things as awkward, tense or annoying as quickly as possible. If you would like further demonstrations of my skills, please, do read on …

I’m debating getting a ferret . Again this comes after the intense mind storming after watching all three seasons of Scorpion. Because that show has become my new life, along with an assortment of other series such as Hart of Dixie and Baby Daddy and many others in which I envision myself playing a small role in, every morning, in the shower. Yeah me and My fluffy Green Towel would fit in nicely with the cast. Please not the sarcasm (I tend to live Vicariously through the books I read and the series I watch in order to make my life more satisfying, you know, like a normal Human being.)  Luckily I have friends that support this idea . We are going to disappoint our mothers together and go looking for one this december. ( A ferret, Not some cast members to scar for life)

Another thing i forgot to add to the list : my best friend has selfishly moved to Cape Town. To pursue her own dream…. I mean seriously …. Can you believe it?
Nah I’m just kidding . It’s not like we both planned to move there and one of us failed and destroyed her dreams in 3 months so she had to move there on her own like a grown up who couldn’t put her dreams on hold. Yeah the successful one wasn’t me . To be honest the only true dreams I’ve ever had Were
1.Wear whatever i want without gaining weight
2.complete my bucket list (there will be another page on this)
3.move in with said best friend in a loft that we worked for together the world
5.gain respect from my family
6.And to live near a doughnut shop ( used to be coffee shop but lupus flares are aggravated by caffeine and Decaf coffee is just sad.)

Oh and recently developed is own a ferret, I will , however settle for a baby hedgehog or a chinchilla (that’s a wonderful word to say)
Well that’s the main list . Notice how there’s nothing on that list to do with my career ? yep that would be another problem. Not even Therapists know . I keep asking god for a sign but all I keep getting back are the reminders to fill in application forms before september and get a scholarship before december(haha, dream on girl ), don’t forget pass all your exams (again) this year. But hey,  wouldn’t it be nice to know what I want to do with the rest of my life ? Call my cynical but no matter how much you try you never live long enough to be able to accomplish everything you’ve wanted to. But the sooner you start the more you get done. I’m just so anxious to start. If only I knew where . Heres to another day
Song of the day : The Cure – Lady Gaga ( who would have thought it) this woman Rocks !
Life lesson learn today : cutting my hair to emulate Mulan did not make me feel as swift as a coursing river or anything like the sea . I feel like I chopped my hair off .
On tomorrows list of things to do
1.Get up
2.Go back to sleep
3.get up
4.shower Breakfast
6.find something to do for 6
7.find something to do for 7
you get the idea…
Anyone relate ?

Signed off.

A Terribly Dramatic Human Being.

(With Terrible Punctuation )